Pre-DNC, Day 3: Fail Parade

August 23rd, 2008

I still subscribe to the dead-tree Denver Post. The delivery this summer has been consistently bad — a paper on the porch is now a thing of Spring 2008. This morning I left my place and found the paper not on the porch, the steps, or the sidewalk — it was in the grass on the parking strip, and the delivery person’s most significant fail yet.

At noon, when working on putting together the special-DNC layout for the Post’s web site’s home page, I accidentally pushed the development draft of the site live. This meant the dummy photo I was using, of the cute miniature hippo-looking thing, cameo’d on our site’s homepage for a good two minutes. It was funny, in a bad, bad way, and it brought my coworker Becky to tears she was laughing so hard.

At that point in the day I’d already had a couple more fails under my belt, and it all made sense. The newspaper, the hippo — I was marching in the Fail Parade. FailHippo was the FailMascot, and I was nowhere near the end. I took a quick screenshot of the homepage fail — screenshots were my lens on this parade, and I was going to document every fail from here on out.

This is how it breaks down:

9:00 a.m.: Newspaper Fail.
9:15 a.m.: In a call with our corporate parent, I get frustrated and mean with the guy on the phone about a mistake I think they made. Personal Fail.
9:30 a.m.: I forget my camera at my apartment. I needed my camera because it’s broken, and I took the long way to work to walk by and drop it off at the camera-repair place. Mental Fail.
9:45 a.m.: I show up to work late. Fail.
10:00 a.m.: I do some internet sleuthing, and I realize the mistake I thought our corporate parent made was actually a mistake that I made. Total Fail.
10:30 a.m.: When fixing the javascript that loads a chunk of video on our homepage, I had our site CMS open. I needed to edit two files in the CMS to make this fix, so I had each file open in a separate tab. I made the fixes, and saved both files right after each other. The CMS messed up and swapped the files I was saving, breaking the video again. Fail.
11 a.m.: I leave my cube to hit the 10th floor for a soda, and forget my employee pass on my desk. Have to go to the lobby and have the security guards buzz me up. Fail.
Noon: FailHippo graces the Denver Post’s homepage.
2:00 p.m.: Our CMS buckles under the weight of something, and starts returning “503 – Server Too Busy” errors. CMS Fail.
3:00 p.m. – 4:15 p.m.: RSS delivery on the Denver Post’s site ceases, due to a “ISAPI Extension Error- 1” error. CMS Fail.
3:30 p.m.: CSS delivery to the Denver Post site becomes erratic, making the homepage look like jumbled junk. Server Fail.
4:00 p.m.: While explaining the FailParade to a co-worker, the co-worker replies “Fail Parade 2007!”, forgetting that this is 2008. Brain Fail.
5:00 p.m.: I hadn’t eaten yet, but I had brought a nectarine with me to work. I took a bite of that tangerine, and instead of tasty delicious I tasted underripe fail. Food Fail. Consistency Fail: Luschek noted that I typed “tangerine” there, when I meant to write “Nectarine”
5:30 p.m.: The DNC-headline list on the homepage I was working on gets pushed to the homepage, creating an out-of-place large blue block there. Fail.
6:00 p.m.: Overheard Fail in the newsroom:

Editor: “You misspelled Barack Obama’s name!”
Reporter: “I did?”
Editor: “Yes. You can’t do that.”

I got out of work at 7:30 p.m., and walked down to get my bike. I thought that the parade would end when I left the building. I get downstairs and outside, and no bike. My bike’s not there. Gone. I had locked it to this gate thing that the building Starbucks has around its outdoor seating — and that gate thing was gone too. So I go back inside, and the security folk know where they put everything, including my bike. Fail Averted.

Related Posts:

  1. Pre-DNC, Day 2: Cookies
  2. Pre-DNC, Days 4 and 5
  3. I’m going to call this “Pre-DNC, Day 1”
  4. The impromptu Avett Brothers haiku ticket contest I launched on craigslist
  5. DNC, Day 1: Bruiser

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