Would you rather die in a volcano eruption, a tsunami, an earthquake, a flood, a hurricane or a tornado?

I didn’t want to sell it to the first person to email me … that’s boring. So I wrote this in the post: “If you want the ticket, send an email with a haiku about the Avett Brothers. Best haiku gets the ticket.”

Here are the haikus I got:

Hark! Honey on ears
sight, smell, touch, taste envious.
Avett Bros. good sound.

— Sean S.

Retarded are you
In the request that you have
For avett tickets

— Chris S.

Which begat:

Chris didn't mean it
He needs me to reconnect
Him to the beauty

— Kathleen M.

Avett Brothers sing,
soulful music together,
dancing righteously.

— Max B.

Sold yesterdays tickets by accident
Very sad
Makes me cry like the Avett Brothers
when all the pretty girls in their songs dump them

— Kathleen V.

the avetts are here
for truth and love they shall sing
they are fucking rad!

— Taylor R.

joe magically makes
a pretty girl from denver
so very happy

and

poor, starving, artist
can't afford pricey ticket
i'll buy you a drink...

and

ears full of music
ticket with my name on it
joe's my new best friend

— Jackie

And the winner:

bearded brothers play
by guitars grace, tasty lick
paint smile on my face

— Joshua W.

He wrote this paragraph, which handles gracefully the issue I see some people have difficulty with (most of whom are commenters on The Denver Post’s articles):

One of the issues is of course terminology, its the National BLACK Theatre Festival. And so one caller asked when we were going to cover the National WHITE Theatre Festival and wouldn’t people be up in arms if such an event existed. But of course, such events exist. They’re just not labeled as such. And we do cover them. The labeling along racial and ethnic lines is part of minority groups—racial, ethnic, religious—banding together to tell the majority that they exist. Majority groups don’t have to label. They’re implied.

“The biggest thing for me is the mood on the field has changed,” Tulowitzki said. “Early on in the season, we were expecting bad things to happen. Now we’re expecting good things to happen. We’re waiting for the big pitch, we’re waiting for the big hit, and we’re getting it. Whereas before, we were thinking out there, ‘What’s going to happen? What’s going to go wrong? How are we going to blow this lead?’ “

The bot-spammers are now winning over on COTweets, so I went and created a new Colorado group-tweet list, ColoradoTweets, that works in much the same way, but has a few more rules that should help keep it from turning into a noisy ugly hot mess.

To break it down:

• Only tweets that *start* with (as opposed to contain) @ColoradoTweets will be published. This fixes one of COTweeters’ weaknesses.
• Any tweet with “RT” in it, or “Follow Friday” (and variants) will be ignored.
• If @ColoradoTweets isn’t following you, you can tweet to it, but those tweets won’t be broadcast to the group until @ColoradoTweets follows you.
• Abusing the list with repetitive, promotional tweets, is a sure ticket to a blocking.

The goal here is to have a list that takes the pulse of Colorado folk on twitter, that can help people who have questions about something Colorado, and is interesting. Thoughts? Post ‘em here.

-Joe


Mark Cuban is a
rich businessman who owns the
Dallas Mavericks



He doesn't really
know how to play basketball,
But yell? Yes he does.



In Japan, they call
him Maku Kuban. In the
U.S., he's "that guy."



Mark Cuban said that
Kenyon Martin was a punk.
Welcome to third grade.



Cuban yelled that at
Kenyon's mom, and then wrote a
lame apology.



Cuban has two kids.
His daughters are experts at
razzing opponents.



Cuban appeared on
The Simpsons. Have you been on
The Simpsons? No, no.



News Flash: The Dallas
Mavericks' next game is in
November. Cry, Mark.


Overpriced two-drink minimums and potato skins; bad Clinton jokes on late night—these used to be the hallmarks of comedy, an art relegated to the controlled environs of comedy clubs and network TV. Fortunately, in the late ’90s, a daring breed of comedians began rejecting the status quo altogether and, by taking cues from the indie-music world, started reviving comedy as a savvy and groundbreaking art form. Mock Stars delves headfirst into this revolutionary scene, tracing the evolution of indie comedy as part of the underground music circuit and into mainstream America. Through candid interviews with the major players, including David Cross, Patton Oswalt, Neil Hamburger, Maria Bamford, Fred Armisen, Aziz Ansari, Jon Wurster, Aimee Mann, and dozens of others, Wenzel reveals how comedy is becoming relevant—and dangerously funny—again.

You can find more of Mr. Wenzel’s work in the Denver Post’s music section.

1. The Beach Boys – Lets go away for a while
2. The Mountain Goats – See America Right
3. CFTPA – Tonight was a disaster
4. The Mendoza Line – It’ll be the same without you
5. R.E.M. – New Orleans Instrumental No. 1